By Macielle Osterling
Staff Writer
Mira Costa senior Nick Fender is known for his participation in drama and Comedy-Sportz. On top of balancing a busy schedule, Fender confronted a different obstacle: the thought of suicide.
Fender’s emotional struggles first occurred during his sophomore year at Costa when he was infected by the swine flu. His illness took a toll on all of his classes.
“All of my grades went down,” Fender said. “It was surprising that a B in history was my highest grade because this was a class that truly wasn’t that hard. I basically had to play catch up.”
According to Fender, as his school work accumulated, he began to lose focus on his studies, causing his grades to dramatically drop. He lost all motivation in himself, his family and his chances to get into college. He then began to use illegal substances like marijuana, to help ease the pain, which eventually led to his depression.
“I just wanted to be somewhere else,” Fender said. “I didn’t want to be at school. I didn’t want to live this life or be in this situation. I really just wanted to do something different.”
In May 2010, Fender was admitted at the Cerritos College Hospital because of severe depression. Once he was there, Fender was prescribed antidepressants. After returning to school six months after being admitted to Cerritos College Hospital, Fender claims that his depression became so severe that he began to contemplate suicide.
“It felt like I was underwater and in a fog,” Fender said. “Only sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll could pull me out of the state that I was in. I received treatment before my thoughts of harming myself turned into actions.”
Over the course of six months, Fender was admitted to two hospitals that did not permit him to see his family and friends. Shortly after being discharged from Cerritos College Hospital, Fender was later admitted to Second Nature Wilderness Therapy Program in Utah, where he was put on suicide watch. After eight weeks at this camp, Fender returned home.
“The [Second Nature Wilderness Therapy Program] was marvelous,” Fender said. “If I could have, I would have stayed there much longer. I became much more comfortable with myself as a person. My attitude toward life completely shifted, and I became optimistic.”
After returning home from eight weeks of counseling, Fender promised to remain sober. He took classes at the Beach Cities Learning Center and later at Costa’s summer school program.
“Attending Beach Cities was a fairly easy transition for me,” Fender said. “Going to a new and different school really got me back into [the routine of going to] school. Beach Cities was a more relaxed school environment.”
Fender returned to Mira Costa for his senior year. This year, he became involved in the Costa musicals as well as the Comedy-Sportz Team. According to Fender, the Drama Department has had a tremendously positive impact on his recovery and personal well-being.
“Drama saved me from doing drugs again,” Fender said. “A lesson that Drama has taught me is that unexpected things happen, but you put your two cents in.”
Fender will be attending California State University Humboldt in Northern California. According to ‘abcnews,’ Humboldt County is notorious for its marijuana usage and cultivation. According to Fender, it has been a personal challenge to stay sober; however, with the support of his friends, he hopes to stay optimistic.
“I have people in my life that want me to succeed,” Fender said. “I have fallen in love with my senior friends and my family. As they say in ‘Fight Club, “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we are free to do anything.’”
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