With teacher contract negotiations just having wrapped up, it seems that some type of teacher evaluation system is on its way. Statistical observation? Performance rating? The prospect of evaluation has led us to contact Yahoo! with an
idea for the newest, coolest type of internet fantasy league: Fantasy Mira Costa.
There are a few main components that are necessary to understand in order to enjoy the game to its full potential.
The total number of minutes teachers spend on campus (also known as on-campus percentage) clearly plays a large part in their overall effectiveness. Fauver arrives at school before the sun even rises, which clearly raises his point totals in the category. However, teachers can still lack in on-campus percentage and be high draft picks. Shales-Clark goes to the parking lot like every five minutes or something, but she still racks in huge point totals.
Use of new technology also plays into teachers’ performances. When kids are able to score proficient or higher in Temple Run, their teachers get serious cred. When they can’t even breach the basic star totals in Jetpack Joyride, though, their teachers pay the price. (The iPads are for games, right?)
But seriously, the CIWTEi (Caliber In Which Teacher Embraces iPads) is a big deal. It’s scaled from Mr. Fish, who’s afraid of anything with a screen, to Mr. Frigola, who very well could have been born holding a tablet. But actually though.
Administrators also have their own ways of scoring in Fantasy Mira Costa. Vice Principal Jaime Mancilla scores every time he stiffly rejects a schedule change, and Vice Principal Ian Drummond gets points every time he performs his job duty of being a really nice guy. And obviously, Head of Attendance Frida Shamburg delivers every time she catches a forgery (or just intimidates a student out of even attempting to turn in any note at all).
In this year’s draft, most of us will try to avoid teachers with high TSDTN (Time Spent Discussing Teacher Negotiations). A study found that Fauver says “unappreciative community” more than he says “Declaration of Independence.” Major no-no.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter what teachers score in stupid evaluations. Teaching at Costa is a team effort. A team effort by fantasy players to win games for their awesome owners on Burn After Reading.
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