By Lauren Farberman
Staff Writer
Keynote Speaker Tyler Durman spoke to Costa students during office hours and parents after school on Dec. 3 in the small theatre and the auditorium, respectively.
Durman has spoken to over four million teenagers across the United States and Fox news has referred to him as the “Teen Whisperer”. His two talks at Costa were centered on the topics of love and parenting.
“It is just amazing what Tyler is able to do with a student audience,” Costa principal Dr. Ben Dale said. “After he spoke at freshman orientation it was a no-brainer to have him back again to speak once again to students, and to parents as well.”
Durman’s first talk during office hours was geared towards students in the small theatre. This talk focused on the topics of romantic love, the differences between love and infatuation and how teenagers typically confuse the two.
“A lot of teenagers confuse romantic love with infatuation,” Durman said. “Throughout my talk I incorporated different instances of love and infatuation into the stories I told so that the audience could grasp a better understanding of the differences. ”
Durman gave a second talk to Costa parents later that day in the auditorium. This talk focused on Durman’s book “Counterintuitive,” which has guidelines on how parents can effectively communicate with teenagers. He incorporated his book into the talk by using information and stories such as a study on the differences of parenting boys and girls found in “Counterintuitive.”
“When I am preparing for a talk, I try to find one main truth to focus on,” Durman said. “If I do that I can always relate back to that main truth throughout my talk, and I have found it keeps the audience engaged.”
In his talk, Durman emphasized that a parent’s role is not to be peers with their teenage child. As noted in his book, he iterated to parents that teenagers will not respect parents that do not set up boundaries
“Teenagers are like barbecue chicken because just since they look done on the outside doesn’t mean they are done on the inside,” Durman said. “They need to feel safe and they will not feel safe if their parent are equals.”
In his talk to parents, Durman also discussed how to effectively discipline teenagers. His advice to the parents was to let teenagers fail sooner rather than later. Durman said children will never learn right from wrong without failing.
“I wholeheartedly believe that early suffering is less painful suffering,” Durman said. “When a child fails it is their parent’s responsibility to make sure home is a safe place for them to come back to.”
Durman is continuing to travel to high schools across the country to share his advice and guidance to teenagers and their parents. He says that the reason students find him so appealing is because he integrates jokes and comedy into his talks.
“ I never make myself the hero in my stories even though I am usually the guiding figure,” Durman said. “Students find me approachable from this and honestly the best part of my job is being someone so many teenagers feel they can talk to.”
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