What is up ladystangs and gentlestangs, and welcome back to another update from your pals at the Peanut Gallery. This month, we have some nice juicy topics to fill you in on. These bad babies range from ASB Conspiracy theories, resistance against Mira Costa oppression, and the chaos that some folks are calling 2018’s Winter Formal.
To start off, we want to toss you some facts about Costa’s stellar sports programs and their talented endeavors over the past couple of weeks. The boys basketball team failed to qualify for CIF, but no hard feelings guys, you’ll get them next year. Well, the juniors might. Also, boys soccer beat Redondo for once at senior night. However, it was only 1-0, showing just how exciting soccer can be. Now to the fun.
Although we admit to bumping heads with the Costa Chronicle in the past, the Peanut Gallery has sworn ourselves to defending freedom at this school and must set aside previous disputes. We have become aware that the Chronicle’s plan to utilize Mariachi Bands on Valentines Day has been barred. This form of oppression that is pushing down on the shoulders of our fellow comedy-makers cannot continue. Those who hear not the mariachi think the chronicle’s mad.
Speaking of the ole’ V-Day, the gents at the Peanut Gallery are huge fans of PDA. Phase Doppler Analyzers are great tools to purchase if you find yourself lonely on this special day. This cutting-edge technology has a beautiful potential to change the way humans look at the world around us, whether it is producing accurate particle velocity flow data or organizing particle size data. We recommend you check ‘em out.
Also, the Peanut Gallery thinks it is safe to say that the Winter Formal wasn’t a huge success. We have a plethora of theories as to why this was, varying from the incessant horde of juniors and sophomores creating mosh pits to “Broccoli.” However, the real highlight of the night came when the DJ played God’s Plan, much to the delight of the jumping mob, who thought that rapping two verses of the song made them hard rappers.
We have also noticed a suspicious pattern regarding the venues that ASB chooses to host their dances. An alarming number of the hotels that are rented out for school dances are in close proximity to one specific location: LAX. They could be plotting an attack… on the efficiency of the airport and general happiness of those within it. While these are loaded allegations, we think that when it comes to ASB, one must be guilty until proven innocent.
Welp, that should do it for the juicy news this month. We will report any further surveillance of ASB’s suspicious activities and get back you guys soon. You can always count on the Gallery to get you the facts. Goodbye and enjoy your ski… wait, “mid-winter break”.
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