Time flies, it’s a cliche, yet it’s also been the harsh reality ever-present throughout my senior year. During my final moments in high school, I’ve tried my best to take a step back and look at the people around me: my mom (a.k.a. my best friend), my cool and infinitely supportive dad, a female friend that has made me realize what a friend’s love is supposed to feel like, a loving boyfriend who pushes me towards my goals, teachers who have paved my way for success, peers who have witnessed my ups and downs, and even my hometown, Manhattan Beach. I think that saying goodbye is something that is simplified to its verbage. Sure, it could be defined as a simple word, but I think of goodbye as more of a process: realization, acceptance, and adaptation. But why is it so hard?
I am moving across the country in three months. My foundation is here in Manhattan Beach. All of my relationships are going to shift, and some may be lost in the process. This gets lost in translation because everybody around me is going through this at the same time. For me, I’ve felt as though the magnitude of saying goodbye to my favorite people and places has been minimized. I am the first to say that I am struggling with this and the first to cry whenever college becomes the topic of conversation.
This year, I have met the people who I want to be in my life forever. As opposed to seeing this as a blessing, I have been looking at it through a more negative lens. I cried to my best friend, who I met this year, wishing I had known her sooner. She encouraged me to look at it as bitter sweet, and also as a new beginning. Now, we get to be there for each other for even more milestones. I feel more secure, more confident, and supported than ever. So, naturally, I am scared to turn a new leaf and go back to square one.
As I wave good-bye to the beloved Manhattan Beach, I reminisce on walks on The Strand with my mom, the drives to Bay Club only to see every other Costa student doing more scrolling than lifting, and late night dinners at The Kettle. I hope that leaving this place will make me appreciate it even more than I already do.
I hope my peers and I can take a step back once in a while. Think about the things we get to do and see on a daily basis. It becomes the norm of our everyday rituals but, in reality, we are all going to miss something about Manhattan Beach.
Subconsciously, we all emotionally attach ourselves to each person and place we interact with in our lives. You can think about it like a spider is web that keeps extending, intertwining, tangling, and complicating itself. Saying goodbye is hard because you have to untangle yourself from the web, pick up, move, and start a new one. In life, I believe we have so many subnetworks of places and people and experiences and jobs and relationships that it can be so incredibly overwhelming.
So, as we take this step forward, I encourage us all to have a positive outlook and an open mind. Relationships will change. Tears will be shed. As our parents always say-if not yours, then take it from mine. We have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
In these next few months, we seniors are going to experience
countless drastic changes. In case you needed the reminder (and if you don’t, then let me say it for my own sake), leaving for college is hard and saying goodbye is even harder.
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