By Duncan Gregory and Kyle Allen
Theme Editor/ Editor and Chief
It’s no secret that the dodgeball tournament has taken Mira Costa by storm. There are stronger teams than ever before; from the all-powerful “I Like Turtles,” to the dominating Westminster Abbey, with secret weapon Mr. Chow. The Fifth Sense set out to find what would comprise the ultimate Costa dodgeball team, this is what we’ve discovered.
First we have our boy Denzel Washington. He’s as serious off the screen as he is on. He means business; you throw a ball at him and he will stare it down with those big brown sultry eyes and make that ball turn into tears.
Next is TinTin. You’ll be surprised when a large bubble that says “POW!” appears above your head. TinTin might as well be called SteelSteel. He’s also good at playing the game by the regulated rules; if he sees a foul, he’ll call Bolshevik. Watch out; he could come crashing down on you with the force of a thousand Belgian waffles.
The third component is Casper the Friendly Ghost. This apparition is anything but amiable. Off the court, Casper is forced to hold the title “the friendly ghost,” but once this kid floats onto the court, all sheets come off. His teammates call him “Castper” on account of how many opponents’ bones he breaks in a single match. The record so far is 241.
Kimbo Slice is there to bring the heat. If you can’t take the heat, get out of his beard. Not only is Slice here to trash the other team, but also he has the incredible skill to motivate the team through encouraging nicknames. Don’t believe us? Try asking that to Kevin Ferguson, that’s right, that’s Slice’s birth name. Ferguson.
When you’re out there on the court, you always need someone who will guarantee the dodge. The man who we’ve chosen for that is no other than Flat Stanley. We all grew up with him.
Stanley can 2-dimensionalize himself in a swift second, and quickly counter with a sharp chuck to the groin. Of course, wind is always a factor with Flat Stanley, but we’ve got that under control. One word: paperweights.
Finally we have team captain Goy Casillas. Don’t let Casillas’ riddles and sarcasm fool you. It is well-known to administrators that Casillas was brought in only to replace Jenny Wright on the administration’s dodgeball team, the one that’s been on double-secret probation since 2004.
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